My father

I don't know how to put this
how to translate my feelings towards my father into mundane words

Sometimes just thinking about his life and how unlucky he was makes me on the verge of tears

Being unable to find a job in KSA due to some political reasons back then and the death of his fiancee which gave him a stroke followed by paralysis were sufficient to divert the course of his life

He's a symbol of sacrifice and dedication
He's a serious yet very kind and passionate person
I never heard him singing or watching a movie
before retirement his day was about work and prayers and preaching us
His way was gentle and he never forced us to do anything but he always tried to persuade us

I owe him any success I've achieved -If I've achieved any-
I remember when I was Young most of the time I was afraid that he dies and leaves me
I was very clung to him

And now he's senile and weary
I can't bear watching him suffering from his senility

Maybe my father is not my role-model
Maybe sometimes we disagree

But something remains
I hold for this man a great amount of respect and appreciation
I love him so much

I wish I can repay
But how can I?

He's the reason why I love mathematics and why I entered my college
He's the reason why I am good in English, I will never forget the small notebook that he used to explain to me the basics of grammar and new vocabulary

I am really speechless
I really love this man

The philosophy of "Thanking God in crises"

I was so eager to get that internship, not only because of the LE 650 but because this company one of the largest corporates working in the energy sector all over the world

I could see that this opportunity would be a transition phase that shifts me so high as the division that I was about to have a training at is the one that I need to join in the future beside I'd have built firm relationships with the engineers there ...

And when I read the regret mail I was so disappointed but I thanked God ..

But "Thanks God" isn't just a word to say just to get the grace
It should be an inner persuasion that God would grant you the best
You should fill your heart with satisfaction as it's not about the verbal phrase it's about the way your soul reacts to the situation

Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) said "عجبا من امر المسلم امره كله خيرا اذا اصابتة سراء شكر فكان خيرا له و ان اصابتة ضراء صبر فكان خيرا له"

Sorrow won't get the opportunity back
You should learn from it

It needs long-term practice to be able to get fully satisfied in crises

and finally just to remember
anyway the feedback was:

1-English proficiency
2-Presentation skills

Waiting.....

~~~YA RAB .. YA KAREEM~~~

Rules for Renegades

"Life is a state of mind"

sometimes I feel like I need to grab you from your hand and run away till we reach a place we can call safe

Why do I have this great disbelief in you or myself?

Why do so small irrelevant trivia alter my mood?

Why am I that Vulnerable?

I need to build fences
strengthen myself
Find my passion
It may take years
or even a life time
but as you've read somewhere before
the thrill is in the journey itself
You're life is a total unique path
and to reach your desired destination
the one that your soul yearns to
you should accept the fact that you are an outcast
don't compare yourself with anyone
don't compare your life with anybody's life
Do things that fit you the most
wear things that you like the most
Run
Read
Mate
Draw
Write
Pray
Sleep
Laugh
Cry
Love
Fly
Fall down
Have the will to rise again
Rise
Fall
Laugh in between

Do it your way
Do it your way
Do it your way

Have the courage to do it your way

Please read this post more often

Ya Ahmed Ya Ibrahim

Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes The Weak become the Strong

Believe in me
Sometime life's not what it seems
Believe in me
Cause i was born for chasing dreams

Try this

After a hard day like mine today
Enter your room
Close the door
turn off all the lights
play a soothing music
relax on bed
Build your parallel world
Dive in it
More and More
Build your imaginary friends and lovers
Live with them for a while in your life the way you want
then turn off all your lights
and sleep with a sign of gratitude to God in your face

Production Engineering

Tomorrow you'll start your mid-year exams

(1)
But I am still thinking that It's very shameful that there are alot of very irrelevant and trivial things can alter my mood and can switch me from being serene and happy to a very wrathy idiot.

(2)

It's like I am paying the toll of the happy 2008
I am aware of the existence of some major problems in my perceptions and attitude and I should change the "state of mind" that I've been developing for the past years It's like I'm half involved in everything I do, I conditioned myself to worng orientations and I also the think that the source of all these pains is just I can't answer this very simple question

What's happiness to you Ahmed?

Ironically, I deliberately do alot of things which -I for goddamn certain know- that these things will just lead me to a feeling of great hollowness and emptiness..


I am not comfortable
Maybe it's the atmosphere around me
Maybe it's my friends
maybe it's global warming
But certainly It's me


mmm Ok I am gonna take a shower to solve some exams as a practice for tomorrow's Exam

c ya