Announcement

I really hate gays

And i don't mean homosexuals although i also hate 'em

But I mean those people who're faking happiness
Although the don't harm me and I only sympathize with them
But it just freaks me out the way they behave
Are they all aware that they're faking it
Am I a gay in disguise?

she's very DEMANDDDDDDDDDDDDY:(

irrelevant trivia

I don't know why i have an intense feeling to ramble around with a car right now Maybe I'll stop by any coffee shop and I'll drink hot chocolate and I'll flirt with the girl sitting next to me

then I'll get back to my car and play "gary jules-mad world, then I'll smoke a marlboro cigarette and meditate

then I get back home to go work tomorrow

N.B I am not a smoker
I dun have a car

(1)
I don't know why, when it comes to that aspect of my life i just can't get cool and easy, You know what I'm talking about for sure hah;)

It's full of chaos here pals..
Decisions, actions or maybe a word of mouth may change the course of your life and while you're diving on the consequences of your decision you just hope to get back to the shore and reconsider

In some cases you're not just allowed to think, You're just stuck
and the greatest irony You don't know if ur decison in the 1st place was valid or not

You're just co-exisiting with the consequences ..

(2)
From my own humble opinion , Successful people are those who has a very clear vision and a very strong will to achieve it

Behind every mishap lies a great opportunity
So if you let life's hits bounces you back to a higher status than your previous one
it needs patience
it needs persisitence
it needs great faith in God 1st and yourself

ME NOW

Minding my own business
Trying as much as can to be get closer to God
Asking myself frequently "Am I on the right track?"
Dreading tomorrow
Optimistic
Confused



FIGHTING

I missed the "ART of LIVING"

I am so futuristic to the degree that i may miss all the present

For dummies

OILFIELD

I have mixed feelings towards the career of a petroleum engineer

I'll graduate after two years isa and assuming that I will take one year doing the military service and one year job hunting so I have about 4 years to start my career

Ok

The career

A field engineer

In my two trainings I had mixed feelings of thrill, nostalgia, worry, companionship and some unnamed feelings

But when I think that this would be my life I just get very worried
When I think that I am gonna spend my considerable time of my life in a desert I get just worried..

But sometimes I think that I am gonna spend about three or four years in the oilfield then I'll take any managerial position

but anyway Life became very irritating it takes decisions!!

Always there's another option

Reservoir engineer

Mainly office work


God will grant me the best
amen

Why

Why do I sometimes cry for no apparent reason?

M

I like the way she smiles
I like the way she talks
I like the way she mocks
I like the way she laugh
I like the way she mourns
I like she being in love with me
I like me being in love with her

I like her golden hair which is dangling from her big veil
I like her nose's pores which always sweat drops of fresh dew
I like her teeth
I even very grateful to her very nice amplitude

I just need her to be happy
I just need to be beside her forever


Am not submissive pals But I just LOve her!

Synopsis

1

Making your life entirely dependent on someone is cool yet risky

2

How would u measure it
-Money wise
-social wise

3

Grudge-Competition-ass kissing-Manipulation-Jealousy-Envy
are available with diffrent tastes in the menu of life

4

Intelligience over ethics

or the opposite

Something is missing

Maybe a smile
Maybe a gesture
Maybe a word of mouth
Maybe a promise
Maybe a whisper

and maybe nothing at all

If you're not following what I'm saying it's ok

me either

And finally he discovered..

that she just needed someone to be beside her to call her frequently .. she needed to feel cherished,

she was too busy to think about the consequences or what he's gonna feel?

anyway this issue took over my blog for about 3 months now
I think It's the time to shut it down

iTHINK

It's somehow strange how her happiness and stability give me this blooming feeling

Never ever do that AGAIN

the problem is that I warned u
But u r one sounavbitch

Fight or flight

How will u respond to any situation you face?
Would u fight or flee?
The problem is that I chose to fight till the end
Fighting thrills me in a way
But it began lately to take its toll on my peace of mind
But It's ok as when I chose this road I knew quite well the consequences..

are these a sypmtoms of a withdrawal

No man, u gotta be kidding me I am the last man alive to give up or in or even out:p

I am just in a bad mood due to some unfortunate incidents but everything is gonna be okay I promise
Just give it time .. The secret panacea to all life problems

the lolita days r coming I can c them on the horiZZon:D

NOT ENOUGH

My dreams ain't high enough
My will ain't strong enough
My passion ain't deep enough
My faith ain't solid enough

Simply not enough

Simply Not enough

because she said so

Wb3din tagrobet 2l7ia bra3'm 2nha k ter btk0n m02lma bs still it is interesting 2 live,27sasak wenta 2wel mara td02 7aga bt7bha,7anan 2hlak,s07abk,bsa f 3in tfl ,masha3r 7ob ,nga7 f m0st2bl,msha3r 70zn ,ice cream f el7ar 27asis bsita bs unique w tsta72 c2nena net7amel tagr0bt 2l7ia 3ashanha


BA7EBEK

Her Eloquent smile
Her profound way of thinking
Her so-innocent face
Her madness
her unique uniqueness

were very sufficient to make me feel these feelings!
But again


I'm sure she -let's say- loves me
But would i bear the consequences if I declared my love to her?

Life is a fight on a roof of some building
If you don't wanna fight JUMP

If not, FIGHT
And the more u fight ,the more u have ground to walk on

An enlightened friend of mine

Should I submit??
Should I decalre??
Should I unleash my dormant emotions??

I am now weaker than ever .. My soul is exhausted

Nostalgic


When I am around, I am in control .. Now in my room in front of my blog I am weak, futile and dead.

God,

What's that??

I am collapsing!

Don't need help..

I'll help myself

If you really love me
Say yes
But if You dump me
Confess
But please don't answer
Perhaps
Perhaps
Perhaps

Ahmed In wonder land

Special thanks

I’d like to thank every hardship
I’d like to thank the very bad circumstances I’m being subjected to now
You don’t know how much I am grateful to you
As without you I am nothing
Without you my life is tasteless
Quiet seas never make a good sailor!

The hardest thing lately

Sometimes, my spontaneous behaviour with girls is misinterpreted to rapport ..
I know it's somehow my fault .. God damn my all-boy school
I lack much of the expertise needed while dealing with the other sex..
But I am falling in so many troubles lately,

While declaring that I don;t feel anything to one of the girls, I was about to die!!

STOP PRESS

It's been said that:

I make eye-contact with girls which convey wrong rapport-like signals..
My friends make promotions about me in front of girls..
The distance between me and the girl is less the International conventional distance which is defined by the (ISO) (2.345 meters)



Hilarioussssssssssssss:D:D:D

Frankly, I don't give a flying shit

Save me

Save me .. Save me .. Save me

monday 9:00 P.M.

Dear X,

I am sorry I am here again to complain, I know how bored you are from me. But believe me I’ve changed, I am now stronger but I am longing to our conversations, you know why I consider you as the most intimate person to me because you listen to my complaints with no feedbacks, you don’t give me this phoney sorrow look nor a pep talk to cheer me up.
So come now and embrace me I need to cry over your shoulders. I am not sad believe me but I need to be in safe arms.

I am a stranger here my pal, despite all my very hard and sincere trials I am still a stranger.
I am not withdrawing believe me, but you know I just need to talk
I don’t need solutions or reasons.
I don’t need approvals or refusals.
I need to talk.

I talked with her today x
And I hope that I’ve not met her
Neediness is killing me
You know I reached a state that I need to be around her all the time
I need to be noticed by her
And when I am with her I try to end the convo and go away
Then I need to go back to her again grrrrr
What’s wrong with me?

Needy needy needy needy needy needy cheesy cheesy crying

لقد مر وقت طويل دون ان اشعر بذلك الاحساس
حنين لاشياء لا اعرف مصدرها .. حب جديد لست متاكد منه
لدي رغبة عارمة في البكاء .. انا بالفعل ابكي الان
اشعر بالخجل الشديد ..
لا اعلم لماذا اريد تسجيل تلك اللحظة .. فانا منذ بضعة ايام كنت في قمة السعادة
اشعر الان بحزن شديد و الام مبرحة
اضمد جراحك يا صديقي و عاود السير
رتب افكارك سريعا و عد لارض المعركة
ابتسم لسخرية الحياة
تعاون معها في صمت و دون تنهدات..حتي تقوم بمهامك باقل خسائر ممكنة

A cheesy post

قابلتها انهاردة تاني سلمت عليا من بعيد ووقفت عشان اروحلها ... سيبت صحابي و رحتلها سلمت عليها .. اتمشينا و قعدنا نلف .. اكتشفت اد ايه هي هبلة و عبيطة بس مش قادر اقاومها .. اسلوبها في اللبس غريب طريقتها ة هي بتقول (منه . هندسة تبية (مش طبية)) طريقة لفها للايشارب الكاب الغريب اللي هي لابسة .. مش عارفف ايه الهبل اللي انا فيه ولا ايه الهبل اللي انا بكتبه .. حاسس اني لما اقرا البوست دا تاني همسحه .. انا عارف ان اللي انا فيه دا (كراش) بس كراش لذيذة جدا ... مش عارف ليه اتضايقت لما اكتشفت انها تعرف ولاد كتييير

The "Menna" experience.

A nice crystal of feelings is flowing arbitrarily in my whole body giving me such a nice joy and happiness.
Although the immaturity of the whole thing, I am enjoing it wildly..


Enjoy the kitsch.....

La joie de vivre back again.

In short, Today I spent one of the most thrilling days in my life..
I'd like to announce that my birthday was on the 1st of march (yesterday) so I got some funds from the family .. Oh how nice is that. this is a contributing factor in my "joie de vivre" state
The 2nd factor is that my fellow "STPERS" (I'll tell you the whole story of stp later) made me a great surprise and made a birthday party for me .. That was very emototional
The 3rd factor goes to "Belal Reda" What a sincere friend .. He used to be my pal in the primary school and he called me today to say "Happy birth day" How lovely is that.
The 4th reason is walking with "menna" for 3 hours by the nile .. how weird is that

That's enough

I'm waiting now for the traffic officer.

And isn't it ironic?

On my way back home from college I use the volkswagen micro-bus .. Maybe you'll assume that I'll whine about the transportation system in Egypt or complain about the frauds that those drivers use with me every single day, like dividing the road into 4 pieces to multiply the wages, sitting by half of my poor bum over the seat, or forcibly listen to an idiot singer who's whining about the treason of friends (those songs literally chokes me ), THOSE ARE clichés my pal.


Today I have a unique story, Maybe you won't get the message of what I'll say, since this article is open to different interpretations ..

The driver was very friendly and he seriously offered to buy me and another passenger a cup of tea , We thanked him for his generosity, and when I gave him the fifty piasters .. he wasn't willing to take them but I insisted .

He was so friendly and he kept joking with the passengers, and It was easily noticed that he's in a very dandy mood.

THEN he stopped for a passenger to join us that's when a traffic officer yelled at him and said "You are a foolish man,move quickly" and wrote his plate number on his small note (A fine)
For the rest of the road the man was sad.

End of the story.

She has a very strong CHARISMA

I got so dizzy .. That was fun

I smoked shisha with "apple-flavor" tobacco just two hours ago.
Nearly It's my 1st time to smoke shisha.
But I am considered to be a very heavy passive smoker of shisha as i am a permanent member at (Al operj.)*
It really sucks, as i felt my lungs itching:D such a unique feeling
I should not do that again.
That's against my vision


*Al operj: 2ahwa baldy

O spoilers

Run Forrest, Run

Excerpts from my life

(1)
With a certain mindset .. we're flowing
We harmonize .. we are happy
Sad otherwise
Spoilers are inevitable
They either come alone
Or we bring them
yeah sometimes we bring them
Unexplainable passion for sadness
Are these spoilers the mazes that make the game interesting?
Complaining is cheap, not only pathetic
Self-control is hard to be maintained
Happy endings are intimidating!!


(2)
Life is joyful
It really is
Days strengthen us
Spoilers are no longer frightening
I am now familiar with the rise and fall pattern
I get used to it
But There's something I gotta learn
Decisions are to be made in the right phase
Anticipation of problems is a silly thing



With absolute faith in God
With a clear-flexible vision
With continuous improvement

One shall go on peacefully



I guess

A conversation with shalata!

A conversation with Shalata.

On the melodies of "enta ma3aya" Hossam habib's Hit I had one of the most wonderful conversations with my friend Shalata, the theme was "What makes you happy Shalata"
I'd like firstly to thank him alot for giving me His precious time..and providing me with his enlightened answers



What's Happiness to you shalata??

With a very big smile on his face he said "one of the hardest questions actually"

Take ur time to ponder.

Happiness to me is (not being sad) *With a serious gesture he said that*

It's a very general definition.

Yeah true, But I quit searching for a solid definition for "happiness"
because real-life happiness will never coincide or match this definition .

Why?

To me, Emotions have no pattern, Life isn't smooth and isn't and will never be fully understood
Trial and error is what we're all doing ..
Emotions are random they're fluctuating all the time.

So let me rephrase the question What makes you happy?

Peace
Peace
Peace

Thx shalata

Life vs. Dreams

(1)



With hidden motives we greet each other, we talk we walk .
And very carfeully we choose issues we'll share together.
Due to awe of being accused of insanity or imperfection or even be refused.
We all trying-as much as we can-To show the appropriate gesture to apply it in the appropriate situation.
Hypocricy, No no let's name it "Social Adaptation"

As i am here wadering in "Wonder land" A.K.A. "life" I perceieved That complaining about life won't take anybody anywhere
Taking actions and finding solutions is the best thing...
so let's see the definition of Suffering
Suffering : Is burning emotional energy on things we can't control

SO let's master things that we control..Let's devote our entire energy to things that we really care about
umm that requires real awareness of things that we REALLY CARE ABOUT


Life isn't smooth.
It needs patience.

(2)




This picture is from a movie called "Being john malkovich"
This was a poor puppeteer ,he worked a job he dislikes for money as a file coordinator.He fall in live with his colleague but She didn't care about him.In an early scene he envies his monkey for being unconscious he told him
"consciousness is a terible curse, I think, I feel, I suffer"

After finishing his work he returns home to his puppets.He tries to simulate the reality.He makes himself marry his colleague
He makes with his puppets things he can't do in reality
Sometimes we need to be in a lucid dream .. A dream totally made by us, no spoilers are foud where we can flee temporarily from the harshness and precautions of experiencing real-life situations ..

happYness

Life is like a cyclone
We are all running and running
occasionally the engines of this cyclone break down
That's when we stop to reconsider
Are we winning or losing?!
With mathematics we're surely losing
but here in life we must use new equations
we must use new scales
A 2:1 give and take ratio is extra fair
Then to satisfy our greed
Let's compromise to get more and more
But the feedback is "fake happyness"

I should learn to write It right

Debate 1

Because that's what we do.
We jump hoping we can fly.
But In some cases we fall, wondering the whole way down why in the hell did we jump?!


I told him "Does that imply that we should not jump?"
He replied "I think jumping n' falling is better than not jumping at all?
I nodded
"Rational jumping" he went on..

Recrystallization..

You were together from the very beginning.
You did know him quite well and you still do.
At some point of time you felt him changing.
You couldn't do nothing but watching.
From great depression and suicidal thoughts To the green philosophy.
You're astonished and worried.

Maybe life's fluctuations Would throw him again to the past sufferings!

Once you think about that, His green philosophy comes and put your mind at ease.
His green philosophy is Growing vastly.
He told me many times that "We need time to grow up, To comprehend the facts"
I witness that he Tries as hard as he can To give things time.
Some times I think this new philosophy is a result of the motivational stuff he reads, or Because he turned his life into a task.

Or it's a mere recrystallization.

Anyway, I happy because he's happy.Thx God